Why its ok to let some friends go

 

  For as long as I can remember, I maintained friendships far longer than I should have. I believed that once you had been friends with someone for more than a couple of years, spent a vacation or two together, and shared all of your personal intimate secrets with them, you were meant to be friends for life. Friends for life, despite the occasional disagreement or fight. Had I known what I know now, I would have saved myself a few years of betrayal and empty, shallow friendships.

   The truth is: Friendships have expiration dates. Some friendships have a long shelf life and can last as long as you live. Others go sour after a year or so. Each person that comes into our life is there for a reason. That reason may be a lesson to teach us. Perhaps they are meant to be a support system for you in your time of troubles. Sometimes they are an unwavering supply of love when we need it most. A wise friend once told me that our friends can be silver or golden. A silver friend is one you have had in your life as long as you can remember and will always be your friend. Although, your friendship is not as vibrant as you would like. A Golden friend is the one friend who is like a soul sister, shining bright, always there when you need them, and always present in your current life.

    I carried friendships way past their expiration date for many, many years. I had a hard time letting go of what once was. When I realized that I was changing, growing, and evolving, it suddenly dawned on me that my life was taking a turn in the opposite direction of a lot of my friends. It was hard accepting that truth. Opening both eyes and my heart, I really examined the quality of my friendships. It made me think twice about who I let into my life. I realized I had a lot of "party friends". I held on to my "treated me badly on multiple occasions, but we are still friends, friends". Why was I putting my energy into relationships that were past their prime and ready to expire?

    When I started to put all of my energy into discovering my true self, a shift occurred. I realized that I was this amazing, uniquely talented, compassionate, and loving woman and the people I wanted in my life needed to accept, embrace, and honor that. I was finding new spiritual truths and exploring transformational topics. Many of the people in my life didn't understand or accept the path I began to take. For all of those friends who didn't accept me, it was time to let those relationships go. I needed people in my life who wanted my highest good. Friends who loved me for exactly who I am. Once I set my intention to have only true friends in my life, the ones that were not so true easily fell to the wayside.

    Every soul has its own path and purpose. I also had to honor the place those people were at on their own journey even if it didn't align directly with my own. It's ok that those people I once called friends were on a different path. We bumped into each other and became part of each other's lives briefly to help the other learn a lesson and continue on with our journey. It may not be clear at first what that lesson or reason is, but as you grow old, you may discover the answer.

    We are all on our individual journey with people constantly weaving in and out of our lives. There are friendships that belong at different stages of our lives with different versions of who we are for a multitude of reasons. There is no need to harbor ill-will or resentments toward a friendship that has run its course. We can hold that person in our heart and send them love without maintaining a friendship. Many of our friendships will pass, but it's important to honor and find gratitude in the place they held in your life. For the friendships that survive, always show love and gratitude for those souls who walk by your side on this incredible journey we call life.

Yoga Love

   For over 2 years now, I have been head-over-barefeet in love with yoga!  I'm sure by now you have heard that a yoga practice is good for your health.  Yoga has countless benefits that includes increased flexibility and strength, relaxation, improves your heart health, decreases stress, and so much more.

   When I first started yoga, I found that I felt more at peace after each class.  I left each class with a "yoga glow".  I was addicted to the feel good state that yoga produced.  I had no idea that by practicing yoga, I was improving my physical body, my emotional state, and deepening my spiritual connection.

   Yoga is based on postures or "asanas" that are either held for many breaths or flowed through with breath to movement.  Each posture assists in opening chakras (energy centers) that are aligned along your spinal column.   The opening of these chakras is what produces the balancing of your mind, body, and spirit.  With your breath, you are moving the flow of energy (also known as Prana or Qi) throughout your body.

   When you are holding different postures, different muscle groups are activated.  This produces an increase in strength, muscle tone, and a lengthening of the muscle fibers.  Many of the postures require you to hold your own body weight in new ways which helps to develop muscle memory.   My balance significantly improved with yoga.  I suddenly could balance my entire body on just my hands in Crow Pose, or balance on one leg while pulling the other one behind me towards my head in Dancers Pose.  I even discovered how to balance on my forearms and head to do a Headstand!

   I use to find that after working out at the gym I would have stiffness in my joints.  Once I began a yoga practice, I stopped experiencing this joint pain.  I improved my joint mobility along with my flexibility.  I used to gauge my flexibility on being able to touch my toes.  I now know that I can touch my toes, wrap my arms behind my legs and bring my entire torso against my legs in a Forward Fold all thanks to yoga.  Back pain that once plagued me on a daily basis, evaporated into thin air as I practiced back strengthening postures.

   Yoga focuses most importantly on the breath.  When you are focusing deeply on your inhale and exhale, your mind is calm and clear.  You are mindfully practicing yoga breath to breath.  You are living in the moment, in the now.   Ugayi breath (yogic breath) has helped to increase my lung capacity.  I found that when I did other forms of aerobic activity, the evolution of my Ugayi breath helped me to get through more strenuous activities without feeling shortness of breath.  Ugayi breath also helped me to be a better Healing Touch Practitioner as I was better able to cultivate universal energy to use during treatments.

   The stress reduction and relaxation that yoga produces is truly an amazing benefit.  Focusing on the here and now during a yoga class, stops you from thinking about all the troubles you have in your life.  Even if the stress relief is for just one hour, thats an hour of well-being your body needs and deserves.  At the end of each yoga class, your body rests flat on the floor in Savasana.  You have 2-5 minutes of quiet, blissful, serenity where your mind can go blank and retreat to a meditative state.  My spiritual connection to something greater than myself has deepened to a level I never knew was possible.

   At the beginning of each yoga class, the instructor will usually ask that you to set an intention.  An intention is a goal, dedication, or purpose that you aim to achieve from your yoga practice.  This can be an intention you set for yourself or for someone else you know.  Depending on how I feel each day, my intentions can differ greatly.  Somedays my intention is to maintain balance.  Balance in my personal life, in my day to day activities, and in my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state.  Other times, my intention is to spread love, peace, and happiness to those around me and in the world.  Setting an intention for my yoga practice helps me to focus and dedicate my moving meditation to something important in my life.

   I've learned countless lessons during my yoga classes.  The most important is that this is my yoga PRACTICE, not yoga perfect.   It's ok if I can't figure out that arm-balance or inversion.  I can always try again later.  I may fall out of a balancing posture, but that just means I need to honor my body where it is that day.  Non-judgment and acceptance are common themes in a yoga room.   When I am on my mat, I am improving my mind, body and spirit and that's all that matters.  By showing up, I have already accomplished so much that day.

   Yoga has given me so many beautiful benefits, I can't help but dedicate my love to my yoga practice.  Yoga has helped me to become a better person, connect with a community of like-minded, peaceful yogis, and given me the tools to live a healthy, happy life full of gratitude.

  Are you ready to start your yoga practice?

10 Steps to Better Self-Care

   Today's world is fast paced, on the go, and more, more, more. We are contantly lighting the candle at both ends, exhausting ourselves with work, social outings, and family obligations. Too often we forget to take good care of ourselves. The words "Self-Care" are foreign to many busy people out there. Self-Care are the things you do for yourself to help your mind, body, and spirit work harmoniously. Taking care of yourself should always be your priority. Once you burn yourself out, you are no good to the rest of the people in your life. Here are 10 steps to better Self-Care.

1. Listen to Your Body

   This is the number one problem I see with a lot of my clients. Your body is giving you clues on a daily basis and it is up to you to listen to it. If you are tired, then you need to get more sleep. If your bowel movements are erratic, then you need to pay better attention to your nutrition. Have you ever ignored your body for the entire stressful, overwheling week and by the weekend you are sick and can barely get out of bed? Burning yourself out will certainly lead to a weakened immune system and set yourself up for illness and injury. By listening to your body, you can give your body the proper nutrients, relaxation, and rest it needs.

2. Get Adequate Sleep

   This is referring to number 1. If you are yawning all day long and lacking energy to go about your day, your sleep habits may very well be the culprit. You may think that 6 hours of sleep is enough to get you through your day, but on average you should be getting 8-10 hours of sleep. Your work and productivity will flourish during the day if you are well rested and clear headed.
    If your loved one says that you snore or stop breathing when you are sleeping, then you may have sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is a condition where you periodically stop breathing during the night. Your body does not get adequate oxygenation. When your oxygen levels drop, your body will wake up in order to take a deep breath to correct itself. This will cause frequent periods of waking up during the night and a very poor night of sleep. This condition can lead to heart and lung disease and requires a visit to your doctor ASAP!

3. Physical Activity
   
   Sitting all day can cause you to gain weight, become depressed, and increase your risk for heart disease and diabetes. When you exercise, your body releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins and serotonin. These chemicals will help you to feel happier, balanced, and less anxious. Exercise can consist of weight lifting, cardio, yoga, hiking, walking, running, or even sex. You also will get stronger muscle tone, a cardiovascular workout, and a decrease chance of heart disease. So get your body moving, it will thank you!

4. Alone time

   We are so used to having every minute of our day planned out, that we rarely take the time to just be alone. Taking time away from friends and family for a night is completely ok and in no way selfish. It's important that you find time to just be you. No one to please, no one to answer to, and no one to entertain. In this alone time, do something that nourishes you. Whether that is taking a long bath, listening to music, or reading a book, do something that is purely just for you. Your significant other and children will appreciate the calm and relaxed version of you in place of the stressed out workaholic.

5. Stop trying to please

   People pleasing can become a huge burden. With your constant drive to make everyone happy, you forget to make yourself happy. It takes you away from what is best for you. Plus, realistically, you can't please everyone, so stop trying to please people at all. Focus on what makes you happy.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

   We are all so hard on ourselves for each mistake we make or forgetful moment. None of us are perfect. So be kind to yourself when you veer off your path. Pick yourself up and do better tomorrow. Forgive yourself for whatever you feel you did wrong. Stressing and worrying constantly about the past is only going to bring more stress and more worry. Be kind to yourself on a daily basis and remember you are human, just like the rest of us.

7. Laugh

   Laughter really is the best medicine. Many times, people get stuck in their uber professional, serious mode. They forget how to have fun and laugh. Even if nothing is funny, just start laughing. It shockingly increases your mood and releases feel-good chemicals. Laugh at yourself once in awhile, it can be very humbling.

8. Pamper Yourself

   This can be getting a massage, a Healing Touch treatment, a facial, or pedicure. Do something that requires someone else to service you. When you feel relaxed, your body has time to reset, rejuvenate, and heal. When you are so used to doing everything for your loved ones, it's nice when someone else is doing something for you. Schedule these sessions at least once a month.

9. Meditate 

   Meditation can be extremely beneficial if done for just 5 minutes a day. Shutting your mind off from outside distraction, noise, and ruminating thoughts will help to calm, relax, and center you. Focus on your breathing. Try and take slow, deliberate inhalations and exhalations. Relax all of the muscles in your body. If you find that you can't stop your mind from wandering, say a simple mantra of 3 words to keep you focused. I like to use, Healing, Happiness, and Love. Meditation is essential for a healthy mind, body, and spirit.

10. Love

   Love yourself and everyone around you unconditionally. The more you love, the more love comes back to you. Love is the core of our existence. So go ahead and spread the love. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.

Unconditional Love and Alzheimer's Disease

   My Grandmother, Lillian, developed Alzheimer's Disease in the mid to late 90's. In the beginning, her disease manifested with her telling us the same recipe or monkey joke over and over. She was becoming forgetful. At first, it was slightly comical that Grandma kept forgetting what she had already told us. As her disease progressed, she forgot our names.

   Before Alzheimer's, my Grandmother was the rock of our family. She grew up in the midwest on a farm and met my grandfather as she was fixing airplane engines in the second World War. She could do pretty much anything. She was a huge sportsfan and watched the Red Sox nightly. She could talk sports with the best of them. She was incredibly compassionate and caring as well. She knew how to brush away headaches with her hands. When you were in her presence, you immediately felt calm, relaxed, and loved.

   By 2004, her disease had progressed to the point where she was no longer able to care for herself. My Grandfather, Angelo, tried his hardest to hide the severity of her disease. He knew that if his children knew how sick she was, and how challenging it had become to take care of her, they would surely place her in a nursing home.

   When her Alzheimer's worsened, she started wandering off down the street alone. She began locking my grandfather out of the house because she didn't know who "that man" was anymore. She was so frightened that she began to defend herself at the slightest hint of danger. She was no longer safe and neither was he. She was placed in a nursing home in 2005 at the urging of his children and her physicians. Grandpa was distraught. He had been taking care of her for so long, he was lost without her. He told us that if he could, he would carry her on his back through life. His aging body would no longer let him do that.

   He visits her almost everyday. He has become a regular sight in the nursing home. When her laundry started to go missing, he took it upon himself to start doing all of her laundry. When she refused to eat, he would sit with her and coax her into drinking a glass of milk and cookies. He brings her a napkin and wipes her chin as she drools. Adoringly he will say to her, "Who's my girl, Lil? That's right, you're my sweetheart, you're my beautiful girl". He showers her with kisses and strokes her hand. Often times he brings in a manicure set and nailpolish to do her nails. When he feels like she isn't getting enough attention from the nursing aides, he buys them chocolates and slips them $20 bills. He would do anything for his sweetheart.

    My Grandmother is mostly non-verbal, she is confined to a chair, and does not know her family. She laughs and smiles whenever my grandfather talks to her. A twinkle in her eye let's us know that she still recognizes her loving husband. My Grandfather is devoted to his wife like no man I have ever seen before. He will be 96 years old this year, and has spent the past 9 years doting on his wife in a nursing home. Unconditional, eternal love like this is rarely seen. He tells us frequently that he is just waiting for her to go so that he can go too. He lives for her. His happiness comes when he feeds her milk and cookies and tells her how much he loves her. His love knows no boundaries or limits. Alzheimer's cannot take away his unconditional love. If all men loved the way he did, the world would be a better place. He reminds me of the character, Noah, in the movie "The Notebook".

 "You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. And, my darling, you will always be mine." - Nicholas Sparks, 'The Notebook'

The Beauty in Synchronicity

   Have you ever went about your day and every encounter you had was so perfectly matched up with what you needed, what you were looking for, and what you had been thinking about, that you felt like the stars were aligning just for you?  These occurrences are called Synchronicity.  Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that are apparently unrelated, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner.

   When I started practicing Healing Touch and living my life in perfect alignment, I started to notice Synchronicity in my daily life more often.  Completely unrelated events would line up to produce astounding and helpful scenarios to improve my personal life, my professional life, and help me to gain a better understanding of whether I was heading in the right direction with my life in general.

   I realized, and read in many books, that there is a much deeper level of interconnectedness of everything in existence.  When you become  aligned with the whole, a universal consciousness, you become a part of that path and purpose.  As a result, spontaneous helpful occurrences, chance encounters, coincidences, and synchronistic events happen much more frequently. You begin to see that the universe really does have a plan mapped out for you.  By following your purpose, passion, and enthusiasms, you create that in which you need to help you create it.

   Here are a few amazing examples of Synchronicity I want to share with you all.  After my pinning ceremony as a Certified Healing Touch Practitioner, my best friend, Sierra, and I  knew we were ready to start our own practice.  Our energy and motivation was just right for this endeavor and we were determined to get our company off the ground.  On the same day that we were to look at a few different locations for our practice, I also had multiple other errands to run.  This included presenting Healing Touch to the Chief Nursing Officer at my hospital and all the directors of patient care, meeting with 2 different holistic health practitioners and viewing their office locations, advertising our business name with the local newspapers, and lastly, going to watch my Red Sox team play in Game 6 of the World Series.

   I had an abundance of time between appointments and decided to get a quick chiropractic adjustment in from my trusted Chiropractor who I had been seeing for the past 7 years.  Watching my beloved Red Sox during the postseason had given me a stiff neck from all the tensing up I had to do during a roller coaster of a World Series.  I told him about all of my exciting news with my new Healing Nurses practice and our search for an office location.  As I was leaving his office, it dawned on him that he had a massage room that was only being used two and a half days a week and why didn't we begin our practice in his office.  Not only did we find our starting off location for our Healing Nurses practice that day with my amazing Chiropractor, who I didn't plan on seeing that day, but the Red Sox also won the World Series that night.  Coincidence?? I think not.

   Another recent event occurred just last week while I was vacationing in Maui, Hawaii.  My friend and I woke up bright and early and went for a walk on Ka'anapali Beach.  We saw a small market setting up with different vendors selling their products.  As we were walking through the market, I heard this beautiful, peaceful, relaxing music.  I felt like I was being brought towards this booth by some magnetic force and the harmony of the music.  When I got to the table, the CD that the man was selling was entitled Healing Touch.  I couldn't believe it.  I told him that I am a Certified Healing Touch Practitioner and that I loved the music he was playing.  He said that when he created the CD, it was not meant for Healing Touch specifically, but for massage and Reiki practitioners.  He has since learned all about the practice of Healing Touch as many practitioners have bought his CDs from the name alone.

   At the time though, I did not have enough cash on me to buy it.  I promised him I would be back to purchase his music.  When I came back that afternoon, he had set up his booth fully and now all of his CDs were visible.  I realized that one of my favorite and trusted CDs called "Reiki Offering" was co-written by this same man, Nadama.  I told him how I used his CD often with my clients and that they find his music very relaxing and soothing.  I bought 2 more of his CD's that day and plan on buying more in the future.  He even signed my CD for me! The universe was pointing me in his direction and I followed my intuition knowing this music was meant for me.

   When these Synchronistic events occur, I trust and know that  I am being divinely guided to exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am doing.  The universe is unfolding for me, telling me "Warmer, you are getting warmer."  I am on my path and following my heart.  More signs will pop up along the way like street signs pointing me in the right direction.  Its up to me to pay attention to these signs and follow along with an open mind and open heart.  Each sign is a piece of the puzzle that overtime will become whole and make you see that all these little random occurrences actually all belong together to create the beautiful life that is being arranged before your eyes.  That is the beauty in Synchronicity.

7 Essential Tips for Wellness

I frequently get asked for suggestions on what I do to maintain my health and wellness.  Although this is not a complete list, I would say that it is the core of my routine.  By following these 7 essential tips on optimal wellness, you can find a balanced physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

1.  Yoga-  Yoga is known to lower stress, decrease anxiety, and promote a greater sense of peace.  All of that is just from a mental perspective.  The physical benefits of yoga include building lean muscle mass, improving flexibility, and gaining strength and endurance.  Yoga can decrease your blood pressure as well as your cholesterol.  Yoga focuses on asanas or postures that open different energy centers in your body- your chakras.  Basically, yoga is amazing.  It is a powerhouse activity that balances your mind, body, and spirit.


2.  Epsom salt baths- After that first yoga class you take, no better way to follow up a detoxifying yoga class than with a detoxifying epsom salt bath. Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate.   Some of the countless health benefits of epsom salt include: relaxing the nervous system, curing skin problems, soothing back pain and aching limbs, easing muscle strain, healing cuts, treating cold and congestion, and drawing toxins from the body. One of the simplest ways to ease stress and stress-related problems is to soak in a tub full of hot water with a few cups of Epsom Salt added. It has the beneficial properties that can soothe the body, mind and soul.  Add a few drops of your favorite essential oils and it becomes a heavenly retreat!


3.  Healing Touch-  As a Certified Healing Touch Practitioner, of course I am going to mention Healing Touch.  Healing Touch is a relaxing, nurturing energy therapy where a practitioner uses their hands to release congested energy in the body and biofield around the body.  Healing Touch focuses on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, so it is a total therapy.  If you have pain, your stressed out, or grieving the loss of a loved one, a Healing Touch treatment will help you through all of these life issues.

All healing is self healing.  We all have this innate ability to heal ourselves.  One way this can be done is through a Self Chakra Connection.  Follow along with the picture and hold each one for about a minute.  Imagine healing energy being sent from your hands directly to the part of the body your are touching.  This technique opens all of the major and minor chakras in the body and will have you feeling your best in no time.     I make sure to do a treatment on myself at least once daily.   Usually it is before a yoga class while I lay on my mat and right before I fall asleep.  I usually fall asleep before I finish all of the pictures...what a great side effect of Healing Touch....a good night's sleep!  To schedule your appointment for Healing Touch, visit my website  www.healingnurses.com.

4.  Nutritional Healing-  Diet and Nutrition play a huge role in your wellness.  You are what you eat....so if you are eating tons of fried, fatty, and processed foods, you are not going to feel very good.  Sticking to foods as close to their original form is the best, so think veggies, fruits, whole grains, and lean chicken or fish.  I personally start my day by drinking a green juice, a mixture of green leafy vegetables and green apple.  By drinking this on an empty stomach, all of the nutrients will go directly into my cells and infuse my body with some goodness.  I also enjoy drinking fruit and veggie smoothies   mixed with greek yogurt for that protein punch.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a glass of wine and some dark chocolate every now and then.  But moderation is key!


5.  Nature-  Have you ever walked along the beach or through the woods on a hike and felt stressed out??  Mother Nature with all of her glory has many calming, soothing effects.  Get outside!  Look around at all the beauty nature holds and appreciate it!  Go hug a tree.  No, really, go hug a tree and see how amazing it feels.  I play a lot of music during my Healing Touch treatments that have nature sounds and many times my client will comment how they felt like they were out in nature and it was so peaceful.  They realize how long it had been since they actually heard the sound of real ocean waves or a bird calling.  Try to spend more time in nature and find a calm, relaxing, peaceful mindset.


6.  Gratitude-  Studies have shown that people who practice gratitude tend to be happier, have fewer physical ailments,  are more optimistic, better able to cope with life stressors, and sleep better.  The University of California: Davis, recently completed a Research Study on Gratitude and its results will have you running to your nearest journal to start writing about what you are grateful for on a daily basis.  Sometimes, I will start naming off things I'm grateful for while I'm driving.  The time goes by so fast!   I feel so calm and at peace when I realize all that I am truly thankful for on a regular basis.


7.  Love-  Perhaps the most important tip for optimal wellness is Love.  I know you all love your family and friends, but the kind of love I am talking about here is Self-love.  Truly loving yourself is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself.  Letting go of negative talk, self-doubt, and resentment for previous mistakes will help you to find that self-love.  You are perfect just the way you are and deserve all the love this world has to offer.  So go ahead, look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I love you."  Your path to wellness is on its way.

What would your 7 Essential tips for Wellness be???  How do you maintain a healthy mind, body, and spirit??  Leave your tips in the comment section and see how many positive changes you can help another person make on their path to optimal health and wellness.